Thank you, Terry.

I have had to come to grips with the fact that most people are trained from birth to determnine sex first and then behave according to norms- as a matter of safety, and just fitting in. It is a deep social structure, and clothing is of course a major identification program for sex. It is just a lot for others to cope with when someone crossdresses with serious intent. They just don't know what it means, what to do, etc, beyond formal tolerance and maintaining distance.

That is a terrible thing between spouses, of course, but when belief systems collide it is not an easy fix..