I would say that-

- Now I wasn't there with you, but taking it at face value, she was more than there- she was reaching out as best she knew how to explain why she was there- obviously nervous and trying to figure out how to be there and make up for all the trouble her people had caused and still be welcome, bc she was not rejecting her people, but she also was probably very worried about how well prayer would work as a reason why she was there for them. When we meet such people we need IMHO to show deep and unpatronizing compassion, so they know their instinct that we are God's children was correct.

She could be mature and able to recognize that your anger and trauma wasn't making it easy for you to respond kindly to her-. She probably wasn't, though she may have seen and perhaps felt your pain under the anger.

I'm pretty happy to hear when people find prayer coaching them to do the right thing- it is not often that way!