I went through a transition, after late in life determining to find a solution to my transness once and for all. I first was desperate to prove my place in womanhood- to crossdress as a way to claim my space. I don't pass and look more or less like a man in a dress. But once I had completed my internal acceptance, I felt myself like any other woman, and the surprise was that I fully felt how significant dress is to relationships - nearly all of them. In any situation, dress is messaging about the kind of relationship we want- but that goal can only be reached with people who are disposed to agree. After someone tells us they don't accept or agree, it makes sense to not send the same message. It is a tragedy when it is our primary relationship, but in that relationship, like any other, we can't ignore what someone is telling you is important to them. We have to organize the relationship around that.