I had several reasons not to want to try to meddle with my body, but the clincher was that one day I realized I was feeling like a woman, and while my body was not the expected shape for someone who feels like a woman,, I was in fact feeling like a woman, so my body was not interfering. That was a huge relief.

It does mean that other people will gender me as a man and a weirdo to be tolerated. However,, now that we are no longer in the last century where expressing my feelings would be a disastrous reveal resulting in violent suppression, I can now live an unsplit life. And being seen as harmless but confused is a small price to pay for uniting with my own sense of correctly participating in the world.

I now see my body as a woman's body, way over on the masculine features end of women- but in that I feel compassion for all my natal female sisters struggling with their own sense of acceptance in a world hypnotized by idealistic stylizations of the sexes.