Answering these questions would be helpful in correcting some of the misery that trans^ people experience- whether self generated or inflicted by others. We all have to decide frequently when to categorize and when to individualize, and I would be guilty of incorrect categorization to call out transphobia when people are just on autopilot- failing to realize that my transness is an interesting and rewarding opportunity to investigate my individual exceptions to the cisgender norms that people have been taught are the rule.

I am AMAB and look it, in every way. Yet when I look out on the world, I identify myself as one of the females most of the time. I couldn’t pass as a female in a million years- I radiate maleness, and I don’t try. Being male doesn’t interfere with being emotionally and sexually feminine, except in the eyes of others.

I am at peace with being a male woman, and I am one of the many variations of human gender. In general society my identity is slowly being recognized as legitimate, and perhaps tolerable, as people gain experience and realize I am harmless. Interestingly, my example may bring up for them their own misalignments with standard cisgender performance rules.

Variation among trans^ folk is to be expected, in each interacting dimension of gender. For some, wanting to pass is a reasonable goal, given the privileges associated with that. There is a cost to it. Cis people pay the price for maintaining their presentation every day - putting on makeup, removing hair, trying to present an imposing impression or to successfully dominate others, etc. Choosing clothing styles to look slimmer or wider at the hip, or stooping to avoid being ‘too tall’. It is a lot of work.

For others, like me, criticizing my appearance against some selection of criteria for eligibility as a ‘woman’ , and rendering a judgment of ‘not passing’ is pointless. People are who they are, and ‘passing’ is in the eye of the beholder- deciding who to let in to our categoriations as deserving of privilege or punishment. I hope many will hear and agree with your appeal to drop the whole approach!