Ahhh- 'just' - but that is exactly the thing that I learned as a child- that I couldn't trust those around me with what was in my heart.

Fast forward 65 years and now I can let the long ago child speak. I have learned that gender is both internal and expressive messaging, and this can be either push messaging or invitational - in which case it has to be agreed to by the other.

Thank goodness now I have formed a mountain of self support myself emotionally as I choose to whom and how I message my gender.

I would rather express myself freely, but being married, my expression now is seen as messaging about us, not me.